I am working on weight loss. I know, what blogging mom isn't you ask? I know I am not original but I do need a space in which I can be accountable so I am putting my goals down and I am doing it publicly, at least publicly if you consider that anybody could read this blog. I am well aware that many are not :) So I ma doing a 4 week jump start. Summer would be most peoples excuse but my motivation is actually different. First, in 2 weeks, I am giving a party for some great women in my life at a fancy jean shop where the cheapest pair is $150. I am not about to squeeze into a pair of jeans and pay that kind of money unless I am comfortably in my normal size and trending down. Right now, I am uncomfortably in my normal size and trending up. So action needs to be taken...quickly.
Next, I am headed to Europe for three weeks in June and I will need as much proactive activity to stave off what will surely be great temptations while I am away. So, here are my goals for this week in my 4-week kick off:
1.) No alcohol for two weeks and limit caffeine to one drink a day at the most.
2.)Exercise 4 days this week including trying new boot camp that I have been talking about for months.
3.)Focus on feeling full, slow down at meal times, chew and enjoy food and try to recognize signals before I need to unbutton my pants.
4.)Seek out support from a friend who will ask and attempt to hold me accountable.
My reward should I accept this challenge in the first week? I will treat myself to a new haircut for the jean party next week. I will be sure to turn some heads after my cut/color/jean purchase :) At the very least I will turn my husband's when he sees how much is spent on that entire endeavor!
Monday, April 27, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Intentions
I once read somewhere, or heard somewhere, that if you write your goals down, you are more likely to achieve them. And along with that, in the process of writing this post, I originally named it "Goals". But then I noticed the previous post name and did not want to confuse anybody or risk too much redundancy so I went to my trusty thesaurus and came up with the word intention. I like that better because it seems a bit more proactive, like even though I am putting it out to universe, I am in control of my own destiny and my ability to make these things happen.
So there are several intentions that I have for my life that I want to put out to the universe. I have never really aspired to things like wealth so hopefully by not putting that out there, I am not condemning myself to a life of struggle but it is not going to make this list. Maybe I will write it down somewhere just to be safe. But anyhoo, here goes, in no particular order:
1. A graduate education - I am not sure how far I want to pursue my education, i.e. masters or Ph D, but I do know that I want more education. I am in the process of applying for school now so it feels imminent but still far out of reach. In part, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up so I am having trouble deciding what to study, which brings me to...
2. Peace in my career - I have always been somewhat tormented by the decisions I have made in my professional career. Though I love many aspects of my path, there are also many shades of gray and gray is not necessarily my favorite color. I am striving to feel good in my career, confident, capable, challenged and continually growing.
3. The Amber _________ - Scholarship fund, park bench, library...I don't know what I want it to be but I have always wanted something to be named after me because then I know that I left an impression on the lives of the people I surround myself with. I was once riding my bike on a trail and there was a bench there that had a little plaque with a dedication. It was an out of the way bench that not many people would see or know about but it was there and somebody took the time to dedicate it because they were so impacted by a the dedicated person's life. That means something to me, I want to have the same impact.
4. I want my daughter (and any subsequent children) to grow up a good person and still like me - I am off to a good start, she is the best thing I have ever done but she is only 20 months so I still have a long way to go. I hope I do right by her and she grows into a bigger and better version of what me and her dad have to offer and when she is done growing, or at least out of my house, I hope she is still one of my best friends.
5. I want to be able to afford the silent auction trips - Or rather big ticket items at silent auctions. I love the concept of the silent auction and I have always enjoyed every purchase I have ever made, right down to my sonic tooth brush. Having said that, there are many things that I am quite sure I would enjoy that I am just unable to afford so cannot even participate in the bidding process. So I guess this is the goal about riches and wealth, but a little more simple. I don't need big money, I just want to be able to go to the silent auction and be able to afford the 5 day, 4 night stay in Vegas, or whatever.
6. Personal Trainer - Or expensive exercise really, otherwise known as my other wealth goal. But really I just want to be able to pay for exercise facilitated by someone other than myself that I enjoy and that keeps me in shape. I need guidance to do hard work, ie aerobics class, karate class, boot camp, soccer. I don't do well with individual motivation, I need something to work towards and I want to be able to afford it without thinking about it as a waste of money.
So not a long list or exhaustive by any stretch, but all things definitely worth putting out to the universe.
So there are several intentions that I have for my life that I want to put out to the universe. I have never really aspired to things like wealth so hopefully by not putting that out there, I am not condemning myself to a life of struggle but it is not going to make this list. Maybe I will write it down somewhere just to be safe. But anyhoo, here goes, in no particular order:
1. A graduate education - I am not sure how far I want to pursue my education, i.e. masters or Ph D, but I do know that I want more education. I am in the process of applying for school now so it feels imminent but still far out of reach. In part, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up so I am having trouble deciding what to study, which brings me to...
2. Peace in my career - I have always been somewhat tormented by the decisions I have made in my professional career. Though I love many aspects of my path, there are also many shades of gray and gray is not necessarily my favorite color. I am striving to feel good in my career, confident, capable, challenged and continually growing.
3. The Amber _________ - Scholarship fund, park bench, library...I don't know what I want it to be but I have always wanted something to be named after me because then I know that I left an impression on the lives of the people I surround myself with. I was once riding my bike on a trail and there was a bench there that had a little plaque with a dedication. It was an out of the way bench that not many people would see or know about but it was there and somebody took the time to dedicate it because they were so impacted by a the dedicated person's life. That means something to me, I want to have the same impact.
4. I want my daughter (and any subsequent children) to grow up a good person and still like me - I am off to a good start, she is the best thing I have ever done but she is only 20 months so I still have a long way to go. I hope I do right by her and she grows into a bigger and better version of what me and her dad have to offer and when she is done growing, or at least out of my house, I hope she is still one of my best friends.
5. I want to be able to afford the silent auction trips - Or rather big ticket items at silent auctions. I love the concept of the silent auction and I have always enjoyed every purchase I have ever made, right down to my sonic tooth brush. Having said that, there are many things that I am quite sure I would enjoy that I am just unable to afford so cannot even participate in the bidding process. So I guess this is the goal about riches and wealth, but a little more simple. I don't need big money, I just want to be able to go to the silent auction and be able to afford the 5 day, 4 night stay in Vegas, or whatever.
6. Personal Trainer - Or expensive exercise really, otherwise known as my other wealth goal. But really I just want to be able to pay for exercise facilitated by someone other than myself that I enjoy and that keeps me in shape. I need guidance to do hard work, ie aerobics class, karate class, boot camp, soccer. I don't do well with individual motivation, I need something to work towards and I want to be able to afford it without thinking about it as a waste of money.
So not a long list or exhaustive by any stretch, but all things definitely worth putting out to the universe.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
GOOOOAAAAALLLLL!!!
Picture it, a tense and even match-up with a close score and 4 minutes left to play. One player receives the ball off the wall and passes to me. I turn with the ball and position myself right in front of the goal, one defender and a goalie standing in my way. I shoot, I score...woohoo...GOOOOAAAALLLL!!! My arms fly in the air and some sort of celebratory noise escapes my lips, perhaps even woohoo, I was so excited I can't remember.
That is a replay, as best as I can remember, of the goal I made in my soccer game last night. It was really very exciting and because they are so rare, I have only made 3-4 in my entire life, each one deserves it own special celebration. I should say, I have only been playing soccer for 1.5 years and for half that time I was pregnant. So in my defense, I still have so much to learn. But as a thirty-something woman, I am thoroughly enjoying learning a new sport and I am especially relishing these small victories when I am in the right spot at the right time and I am able to execute well.
It is a very different feeling for me to be learning something new. I spent the better part of 15 years competing and training the martial art Shotokan Karate. I was able to get to the top of my sport, competing on the US National Team at an international level. I got so good, or rather to such a high level, that I no longer enjoyed competing nor did I appreciate my victories. If I wasn't winning first place, I wasn't winning. At least that is how I often felt. And I was not that good, I was better then average but by no means always winning first place. So that meant that I spent a lot of time beating myself up or feeling disappointed.
Soccer has been a great way to discover my love for sport again. I play on a team where we lose nearly every game. Our goal is to not get shut out and we take it very seriously. I have very little soccer skill but because I am an adult athlete, I am one of the better players on my team. Frankly, this is a great new pace for me. It allows me to practice and improve at a sport in a completely non-threatening environment and it offers me the opportunity to have those little victories that are so important for building ones esteem and keeping one motivated.
So no, most won't remember the goal but I sure will. And I will always remember the spanish speaking announcer voice I heard in my head yelling "GOOOAAALLL" at the top of his lungs with energy like I just made the tie-breaking goal in the World Cup finals, and that is how it should be! By the way, that goal I made, we did not win the game, but it did keep us from getting shut out...mission accomplished!
That is a replay, as best as I can remember, of the goal I made in my soccer game last night. It was really very exciting and because they are so rare, I have only made 3-4 in my entire life, each one deserves it own special celebration. I should say, I have only been playing soccer for 1.5 years and for half that time I was pregnant. So in my defense, I still have so much to learn. But as a thirty-something woman, I am thoroughly enjoying learning a new sport and I am especially relishing these small victories when I am in the right spot at the right time and I am able to execute well.
It is a very different feeling for me to be learning something new. I spent the better part of 15 years competing and training the martial art Shotokan Karate. I was able to get to the top of my sport, competing on the US National Team at an international level. I got so good, or rather to such a high level, that I no longer enjoyed competing nor did I appreciate my victories. If I wasn't winning first place, I wasn't winning. At least that is how I often felt. And I was not that good, I was better then average but by no means always winning first place. So that meant that I spent a lot of time beating myself up or feeling disappointed.
Soccer has been a great way to discover my love for sport again. I play on a team where we lose nearly every game. Our goal is to not get shut out and we take it very seriously. I have very little soccer skill but because I am an adult athlete, I am one of the better players on my team. Frankly, this is a great new pace for me. It allows me to practice and improve at a sport in a completely non-threatening environment and it offers me the opportunity to have those little victories that are so important for building ones esteem and keeping one motivated.
So no, most won't remember the goal but I sure will. And I will always remember the spanish speaking announcer voice I heard in my head yelling "GOOOAAALLL" at the top of his lungs with energy like I just made the tie-breaking goal in the World Cup finals, and that is how it should be! By the way, that goal I made, we did not win the game, but it did keep us from getting shut out...mission accomplished!
A face in the crowd
It is amazing how ones perception changes according to their surroundings. This weekend I had the occasion to attend a cocktail attire function. Translation--Dress Up time!!! I am not really that girly of a girl, but like most good American girls, I enjoy myself an opportunity to dress up. Most notably for me, those have been prom, my wedding, and an occasional event like this one (high dollar fund raiser). This weekend was no different, and as a new mom, actually quite special as I was getting a night to dress up and I was getting a night out without my kiddo.
As I prepared for the event, putting on jewelry, shiny clothes and other adornments, my daughter followed me around the house saying things like "Ooh, pretty mommy" and "Pretty sparkles, Mommy's necklace pretty sparkles". She then needed to have a pretty sparkle of her own. When I finally emerged from the bathroom, all gussied up, I got whistles accompanied by appreciative butt grabs from my husband, in other words, I looked good to all those around. I felt good too, I had received sufficient appreciation from husband and daughter for me to dawn my Cinderella persona and take on the night with fervor and excitement.
When I got to the function, much of that feeling evaporated rather quickly. My look while out of my norm and exceptional in its occurrence, was actually rather typical and common once I arrived. I noticed as I looked into the sea of faces, how hard it was to stand out in a rather good looking room. In everyone's effort to dress up and stand out, most had actually achieved a rather uniform look with very little variance, leaving myself to be just another face in the crowd. In fact, I had a hard time finding very many people who really stood out in the room. And actually, the people who stood out to me sadly were the ones who were dressed down or who did not take as much care in their appearance. There was one exception whom I did notice. A rather attractive woman, who turned out to be one of the event volunteers, had a striking dress with a noticeably different style about her. I would liken it to a wedding where the bride truly stands out above the rest. This woman was the belle of the ball so to speak, everything just perfect. I wonder if she knew or felt how she stood out in the room.
Needless to say, I still had a very nice evening and felt like my clothes allowed me to act exceptional, even if it was only for my own benefit. And, when I got home to my fan club of 2, I was not disappointed by their continued admiration and outward complimentary behavior. In that room, I was the belle of the ball and instead of turning into a pumpkin at midnight--like Cinderella--I was able to stay the Belle of the ball!
As I prepared for the event, putting on jewelry, shiny clothes and other adornments, my daughter followed me around the house saying things like "Ooh, pretty mommy" and "Pretty sparkles, Mommy's necklace pretty sparkles". She then needed to have a pretty sparkle of her own. When I finally emerged from the bathroom, all gussied up, I got whistles accompanied by appreciative butt grabs from my husband, in other words, I looked good to all those around. I felt good too, I had received sufficient appreciation from husband and daughter for me to dawn my Cinderella persona and take on the night with fervor and excitement.
When I got to the function, much of that feeling evaporated rather quickly. My look while out of my norm and exceptional in its occurrence, was actually rather typical and common once I arrived. I noticed as I looked into the sea of faces, how hard it was to stand out in a rather good looking room. In everyone's effort to dress up and stand out, most had actually achieved a rather uniform look with very little variance, leaving myself to be just another face in the crowd. In fact, I had a hard time finding very many people who really stood out in the room. And actually, the people who stood out to me sadly were the ones who were dressed down or who did not take as much care in their appearance. There was one exception whom I did notice. A rather attractive woman, who turned out to be one of the event volunteers, had a striking dress with a noticeably different style about her. I would liken it to a wedding where the bride truly stands out above the rest. This woman was the belle of the ball so to speak, everything just perfect. I wonder if she knew or felt how she stood out in the room.
Needless to say, I still had a very nice evening and felt like my clothes allowed me to act exceptional, even if it was only for my own benefit. And, when I got home to my fan club of 2, I was not disappointed by their continued admiration and outward complimentary behavior. In that room, I was the belle of the ball and instead of turning into a pumpkin at midnight--like Cinderella--I was able to stay the Belle of the ball!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
So many random thoughts, where do I begin...
...at times is seems I have these really great ideas for posting on my blog. I will be nursing in the middle of the night and think of something brilliant or running, or driving to work, or wherever. Never when I am ready to sit down and write. Trust me, I am a genius who really has something to say, just not when I am at my computer. This problem plagues me in other facets of my life as well. In my professional life, I am often forced to write for various projects that I am working on, but when I actually sit down to do it...block...you can literally hear the echo in my head from all the empty space. I find the hours where my genius is most acute are those pre-dawn hours when you keep hitting the snooze, delaying your day just a little longer. I can't tell you how many masterpieces I have written in my snooze state only to have them disappear down the drain with my morning shower.
I guarantee you that when I leave this computer in a little bit to go for some much needed play in the snow, I will experience a moment that I absolutely must share with the world, then I will come back to the house and like my husbands wallet, it will be lost only to be found when I no longer need it. It is funny because I have really become quite addictive to the status update sort of mentality brought on by various social networking mechanisms like facebook. I now think in status updates, which are really just good titles for a blog. But when I go to actually update my status...nothing, zero zilch. There in lies some of the reason for my slacker behavior. But really, at the core, I am also just a slacker. So there you have it, my status update, today: I am feeling like a genius trapped inside a slacker body...
I guarantee you that when I leave this computer in a little bit to go for some much needed play in the snow, I will experience a moment that I absolutely must share with the world, then I will come back to the house and like my husbands wallet, it will be lost only to be found when I no longer need it. It is funny because I have really become quite addictive to the status update sort of mentality brought on by various social networking mechanisms like facebook. I now think in status updates, which are really just good titles for a blog. But when I go to actually update my status...nothing, zero zilch. There in lies some of the reason for my slacker behavior. But really, at the core, I am also just a slacker. So there you have it, my status update, today: I am feeling like a genius trapped inside a slacker body...
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Cliche for a reason
So everybody talks about seeing the world through the eyes of a child. Well I finally do in that I have a daughter, 19 months, and I am constantly amazed at how she sees the world. She see things where I never would. In many respects, her world is so simple; ball, bubbles, school bus, fire truck, helicopter. Never mind that all buses are school buses and any truck that is big with things on it are fire trucks, like trash and dump trucks. And the ever present ball, it is everywhere. Sometimes, when she is repeating a word over and over, and over, I must focus hard to figure out what she is saying or pinpoint what she is seeing, but usually when I do, I am surprised to find out she is right, even when she isn't. She is teaching me to stop and see the world again.
The other day we were playing at the park and we saw another little girl playing with her father. Neither spoke English so I told Riley to say Hola to the young girl. Riley did not quite get the concept of Ola so as we were playing she said "Hola stairs". I mistakenly thought she was saying hello to the stairs so I chuckled and praised her for remembering the word. As we were leaving, she said "Bye park, bye slide, bye Hola". So there you go...now, when I drive down the street, I can't go without noticing a fire truck or a school bus and I am just a little disappointed when she is not with me to see it too.
The other day we were playing at the park and we saw another little girl playing with her father. Neither spoke English so I told Riley to say Hola to the young girl. Riley did not quite get the concept of Ola so as we were playing she said "Hola stairs". I mistakenly thought she was saying hello to the stairs so I chuckled and praised her for remembering the word. As we were leaving, she said "Bye park, bye slide, bye Hola". So there you go...now, when I drive down the street, I can't go without noticing a fire truck or a school bus and I am just a little disappointed when she is not with me to see it too.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Rocky Mountain High
So I recently had the opportunity to travel abroad and live in another country for an entire year. This was the longest I have ever been away from the mountains. Sure I have traveled, even for extended periods but never long enough to really appreciate the magnitude of the beauty that they can impress on a person. Ever since I have returned, I have truly been awe struck by their beauty. Many times I have had to acknowledge their beauty out loud to whomever might be listening. We are so fortunate to have such an amazing landscape at our viewing disposal any day of the week. And they are mountains to be respected. I was living in Australia and they liked to think of their hills as mountains, but sadly they just don't know mountains. They know hills and since I have been home, I am reminded daily about how lucky I am to know mountains.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Everybody is blogging
...so I decided to jump on the bandwagon. Long story short, I have been in search for a job recently and with rising unemployment and such a contraction in the economy, that is no easy task. As such, I have decided to try and piece together work through consulting and contracting. One of my skills, writing, is advertised in many areas but often for those with blogging experience. Soooo, here I am, getting my blogging experience. I have often enjoyed reading blogs, particularly of the mommy variety and have even gained much solace from the camaraderie of mommy experiences. As such, at least in part, I have decided to create a blog relating my experience. Of course it won't exist solely in the mommy sphere because life does not exist soley in the mommy sphere but is a basis for starting.
As for the title, slacker mom, well that is essentially my philosophy on parenting. In my first year of motherhood, I checked a book out of the library called "Confessions of a Slacker Mom". It was from this book that I found my style of parenting summed up to a T. It basically discussed all the over the top things parents do nowadays to ensure that their children become the next Albert Einstein's, including the purchase of all the baby einstein products. While I admit that we own a few baby einstein products, it is only because somebody else bought them for us. We bought our daughter one birthday present, nesting blocks. Same for christmas...I mean literally...another story, but short of it is that she got another set of nesting blocks. I let her eat off the floor and for that matter eat dirt. I let her listen to hip hop instead of classical. I do read her books, lots of them so I am doing something right there. But mostly I let my daughter lead, I don't buy a lot of fancy toys or take her to the latest, greatest class. Instead I spend time with her, I read to her, I take her to the park and I don't worry about the rest.
As for the title, slacker mom, well that is essentially my philosophy on parenting. In my first year of motherhood, I checked a book out of the library called "Confessions of a Slacker Mom". It was from this book that I found my style of parenting summed up to a T. It basically discussed all the over the top things parents do nowadays to ensure that their children become the next Albert Einstein's, including the purchase of all the baby einstein products. While I admit that we own a few baby einstein products, it is only because somebody else bought them for us. We bought our daughter one birthday present, nesting blocks. Same for christmas...I mean literally...another story, but short of it is that she got another set of nesting blocks. I let her eat off the floor and for that matter eat dirt. I let her listen to hip hop instead of classical. I do read her books, lots of them so I am doing something right there. But mostly I let my daughter lead, I don't buy a lot of fancy toys or take her to the latest, greatest class. Instead I spend time with her, I read to her, I take her to the park and I don't worry about the rest.
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